M is for Movies..

I do not see plays, because I can nap at home for free. And I don't see movies 'cause they're trash, and they got nothin' but naked people in 'em! And I don't read books, 'cause if they're any good, they're gonna make 'em into a miniseries. – Shirley MacLaine

            Movies can be a fantastic release from our everyday lives. They make us laugh and cry, inspire us, remind us of days gone by or of hopes and dreams to come. But from what I can see, from the mind of an ASD child, they don’t see the movies the same way that everyone else does.  Going to the movies seems to be a stimulation (and often over-stimulation) of all of the senses at the same time. The sights of the people around them as well as the movie, sounds of said same, smells of a dozen different things at once, the touch and feel of the theater chairs and floor and piped-in air, and if the parent is willing enough, or is begged enough (guilty on both counts), the tastes of the popcorn, candy, and/or drinks.

From my son’s perspective, it is another tool to ask questions and learn as much as he can about some random facts, that I am sure he is storing somewhere for later use. Sometimes movies can turn into a bizarre episode of Larry King, with a litany of questions about details of the movie, especially when we are watching a movie at home. And if we are watching a science fiction movie, the questions come even more frequently and require even more detail. My wife and I joke that we might have the only 9 year-old well versed in the Einstein-Rosen Bridge theory (Stargate), string-theory of time travel (Doctor Who), and warp travel through space (Star Trek, of course). Watching a 2 hour movie at home usually takes about three hours, with me keeping the remote close at hand to be able to pause the movie at a moment’s notice. 

“Hey dad?”

“Yeah bud?” I ask as I press the pause button on the remote.

“So, why are there an army of robots trying to destroy all those ships?” (Batalstar Galactica)

“Well, you see, the humans created the robots. And then the robots got smarter than the humans and decided they could live without us, and wanted to destroy us.”

“Then why didn’t humans just turn them off? And stop making so many of them?”

To which I reply something to the effect that people must get dumber in the future, and that seems to stop the questions, almost a full 10 minutes. And then…

“Dad?”

“Uh-huh?” I ask, pausing the movie again.

“If they park all of those little ships in the big ships, how do they turn them around? And do they need to be washed like a car does?”

And on it goes, me trying to explain the inner workings of a movie or show that am probably not paying that much attention to anyway, and him absorbing and asking logical questions about something set so far in the future that it may never happen, but wanting to understand anyway.



My son, studying how to build his own car-turned-robot...and my daughter thinking she has a pretty cool foot-rest



            And going out to the movies as a family is generally even more concerning than staying at home. All of the what-if scenarios play out in your head. What if he asks as many questions in the theater as he does at home? Or worse, what if he becomes over-stimulated and has a meltdown? What if he can’t sit still or decides to yell at the movie screen? I have heard some parents say that they don’t take their ASD child to the movies because they don’t want to take their child out of his/her comfort zone, but sometimes what I think they feel is that they, themselves don’t want to get out of their own comfort zone. Please don’t misunderstand. I am not judging, by any stretch of the imagination and I can totally relate. Often I find that I would rather stay at home with a ice-cold adult beverage and the college game on TV, then to venture outside the safety of my four walls.

            But we wanted to make sure both of our children would have a chance to experience seeing a movie on the big-screen. We didn’t want Jackie to miss out just because my wife and I were too nervous about what Christopher MIGHT do. So we decided to take him (and us) out of our comfort zone, and we tried to prepare for all possible situations, already knowing that we had no way of doing so. We did what we felt was the smartest thing for all involved (especially our wallets); we went to the “dollar” theater. (For the purposes of full disclosure, the move is actually $2.50 before 6pm, and $3.50 after that. It’s just easier to call it a dollar theater, in honor of the ones my wife and I used to go to when we were first married. I mean seriously what are you going to say? We went to the two dollar and fifty cent theater? Or we went to the discount movie theater? Sounds like I should be picking up a pair of Nike hightops while I am there.) We figured that way, if we had to leave early, or if he got too disruptive, we could miss some of the movie, or leave without feeling too guilty about wasting money for only 30 minutes of screen time for Jackie. Plus, if you go to the earliest matinee, generally those shows are a lot less crowded than the evening showings, and a lot less people to piss off if your kid starts to freak out.

            And the unexpected did happen, starting with neither of us calculating how much movie popcorn a five and six year-old could eat. I mean…really?!? At one point the thought of rigging up some sort of makeshift handles on the popcorn bag to put over my son’s ears, as an impromptu feed bag crossed my mind. Also, we did not plan for the 3 or 4 trips to the bathroom that he would have to make, in order to make room for more soda and popcorn. But as far as being disruptive?  The tool who got a phone call half way through the movie AND DECIDED TO TAKE IT WITHOUT LEAVING HIS SEAT, was far more of an annoyance than my son’s handful of whispered questions he would ask of me. As was the 6’3” man that decided to sit right in front of my children and partially block their view of the screen, despite the theater being only half full. And as they have gotten older and we have gone to more shows on occasion, his behavior has gotten better; I think in large part from him observing his sister and other movie-goers on how they act and react. I rarely get questions anymore when we are in the theater.

            Now on the twenty minute drive home, however……